Are bad boys bad?

As part of my walk through life, I have had the pleasure of meeting women from around the world. And the one thing I have found is that woman love the bad boys, until the bad boys cheat on them, can't afford to take them out to dinner, or refuse to give the woman any attention because they're at the bar with their friends drinking coors light. Why am I telling you this stuff? Well, as pointed out in the header of my Blog, I am single, I am Forty, I am a Father, and yes, you guess it, I am Frustrated. For sure, I haven't always been this way. I was a lost soul drifting against the tide, pounding my head against the sand and the crashing waves. But recently, I had a breakup and then a breakthrough. I realized I had never given myself to one person, that's right, I had never gave everything to a woman. Sure I talked a good game, did the magic tricks, made them laugh, but inevitably I would make them cry. It was this lack of commitment on my part, the fear of a lifetime that truly kept me from finding a partner in life. It was either that, or the fact I cannot remember for the life of me to put the toilet seat down (I'll let you decide).

However, recently, as mention in the above paragraph, I had a breakup that I believe lead to a breakthrough. The first time I was able to give myself, all of myself to one woman. What does that really mean? Well, guys I'm about to spill the beans, turn away if you do not want to see. What that means is there was no more sex texting, late night emails while my partner went to bed early, got rid of the secret email accounts too, basically no juggling of the ladies. I actually told women that I was in a relationship proudly, didn't have a backup on standby and wasn't looking for a way out. I was in it, to win it!

Yes, that is right. It is the new me. I was finally treating a woman the way I was told too, by those HOUSEWIVES of Dorthea Court for the last three years. You know all that lovey dovey stuff, to be kind, respectful, and caring... So I became the new lovey dovey me, cleaned her house, did her laundry, cleaned her gutters, and even was nice to her grandma. Really, I don't think I could have been more perfect! And, what did I get for all of this picture perfect lovey dovey stuff? A phone call that simply stated, "You're too lovey dovey for me and I'm going back to my X-Husband." Seriously, never to be heard from again... WoW! I was speechless... My heart hurt for the first time, and, those people who know me, know, I am never speechless!

So now to the frustrated part of the Blog… Am I too lovey dovey? Can this be? Everything I was changing about myself, the whole thing about being a better man, the honesty was back, the self respect was back, and my desire to no longer be selfish was back. I was a new man. But, is this what women really want? My quest to solve the world's most timeless puzzle was afoote. What do women want?

I began reading books on what women want, I started listening to what women were actually saying (Wow, I can't believe what I heard either), and I even joined E-Harmony with the idea that this pool of women would appreciate a "lovey dovey" man. Throughout this walk I went on coffee meetings, engaged with women at dinners, and even chance meetings on the steps of the US Capital. All in all, my quest came up with a interesting twist. This simplest solution to this complex problem I could find was the article, "What Women Want (from men)," by Scott Andrews. Here they are:

The top 6 things women want FROM MEN, in order of importance, are:

1. Women want men who exhibit confidence (or power)
2. Women want men with a sense of humor (fun)
3. Women want men with money or the things money can buy (sense of security)
4. Women want men with looks (protection and attraction)
5. Women want men with a bit of "Bad Boy" qualities (mysterious and indepentent/Strong)
6. Women want men with all the other "Lovey Dovey" stuff (sensitive, caring, kind)

Surprise!!! I made the bottom of the list... Bad Boys rule? can this be true? Bad boys is what women want? I shake me head is disbelief. I spent my first 37.5 years being a bad boy and the last two years trying to be a better man, a "lovey dovey" man, only find out this is not what women want? (You can not see this, but I'm seriously scratching my head) Well, what should I do now?

Go back to my Bad Boy ways?

No, I don't think so... I think I will take the advice of the HOUSEWIVES of Dorthea Court when they told me, "You should look for a quality woman, not quantity women when you search for a woman." So, I think I'll keep being "lovey dovey" because that is who I am and I'm sure one day, I will find a woman who wants that.